Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) Page 17

  “You sing it, sexy boy,” a woman shouts followed by several more whoops of agreement. I can’t help but smile.

  All the guys join in at the chorus, “I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down, down, down as the flames went higher. And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire. The ring of fire.”

  People clap along to the chorus, but when the guys back away again and Paxton leans into the mic, holding onto the stand, the crowd becomes eerily silent as he sings in his deep voice, “The taste of love is sweet… when hearts like ours meet…. I fell for you like a child…. Oh, but the fire went wild.” His eyes never leave mine.

  Jesus, this is ridiculous. His words send a heat through my body and I’m having a hard time staying put on this floor.

  The guys sing through the rest of the song and the crowd claps along. Vi shouts and cheers along with the other women in the crowd, but all I can do is stand there and stare at Paxton.

  The song ends, the crowd applauds, the next singer is called to the stage, and then finally Pax is on the floor and back in my arms. I stare up at him with awe and he narrows his eyes at me. “What?” he asks.

  “You’re voice,” I tell him. “It turns me on.”

  “Oh, yeah?” he murmurs.

  “Yeah.”

  “I can do all kinds of good stuff with my mouth,” he whispers in my ear, pulling me tight to him.

  He leans over me, his open mouth hovering over mine. He turns his head and I can no longer see his eyes. I feel my muscles growing weak and I’m pretty sure his arms are the only thing keeping me upright. He closes his open mouth over mine, sealing me, sucking me in. His tongue runs over mine in a long, sweeping movement. Everything between my legs is pulsing because I can feel it, what it would feel like to have his tongue on me and he fucking knows it. His heavy tongue moves back and forth over mine, licking me. Oh god. His licking turns to a strong lapping motion and I’m feeling every sensation on my tongue and on my sex. When the tip of his tongue starts swirling around the tip of mine, then flicking it gently but with momentum I have to grab onto his arms to hold my shit together. I feel like I’m on the brink of orgasm and then his mouth moves off of mine and his lips pull my tongue into his mouth and he sucks. Hard. I try to control the tremors that are growing inside of me. I try to push them away. But as Paxton removes himself and looks down at me I know exactly what I look like. “As soon as I get you home, beso,” he whispers, his tongue licking the edge of his upper lip.

  “Fine,” I manage to say. “We can go.”

  “Nah, nah, nah,” he tells me with mock disappointment. “It’s not time yet.”

  “You’re lucky Pax, that you have skills ‘cause your cocky ass should have already been kicked to the curb.”

  “You’re lucky I have skills. Don’t forget that,” he tells me, reaching his hands down to cup my ass before slowly pulling me up his body, over his erection, settling me on top of it.

  He really is so smug but I would be lying if I said I didn’t like it. He has the right to be smug. I wrap my legs around his hips, determined now, to make him bring me home. “You liked it when my mouth was all over you,” I tell him. He’s not the only one with skills and he knows it.

  His eyes roll and he closes them for a moment before collecting himself. “You can’t wait to get your greedy little mouth back on me, huh?”

  “No, Pax, I can’t. You felt good in my throat, I want to feel it again.”

  His hands are cupping me so hard I’m pretty sure I’m gonna have bruises. I’m also pretty sure he’s a goner.

  He doesn’t bother to put me down before heading towards the door. “Bye, Violet,” I call over Paxton’s shoulder, smiling like an idiot.

  She looks at me and I can see her laughing before she disappears from my rapidly retreating vision. Paxton pushes the door open so hard I hear it smashing against the brick building. His lips find mine as he continues to move us around the building to the back parking lot where his car is. I hear him struggling to get the door open and a frustrated growl is released into my mouth. When he’s finally got it open I hear him flip the front seat forward and he puts me in the backseat, his body half in and half out of the car. I’m laid out on my back and he’s got my dress pushed up around my hips. “The door, Pax,” I manage to utter.

  “Fuck the door,” he growls, ripping my panties off of my body.

  Fuck the door.

  He pushes my knees up and doesn’t bother with the foreplay before he’s got his hot, wet mouth all over me. He licks me like the greedy man he is and I can’t decipher the words that are coming out of my mouth. He buries his face in me and the noise he’s making is needy and feral. He pushes his tongue into me and sucks hard on my lips and it feels so amazing that I don’t want to be brought to orgasm, I don’t want this to be over, but that kiss already had me primed and I literally can’t hold it back. Within minutes I’m panting the words, “I’m gonna come, Pax.” He pulls my hips down, burying himself further, I can feel his tongue inside of me, licking me up and his teeth on my sensitive flesh and I lose it. I scream and I cry until the last painful wave makes its way out of my tortured insides and into his mouth.

  “Holy shit,” I mutter to myself. Paxton pulls out of me, but his mouth doesn’t leave me. He licks me now, softly from bottom to top then gently kisses my clit with his now soft lips and I can feel the small tremors coming alive on every inch of my body again like I didn’t just release them. The tip of his tongue rounds my pulsing clit and then he starts licking it so softly it has me screaming. When I try to push myself into his tongue his hands hold me in place, making me live through this torture. This beautiful fucking torture. My body is on fire as his tongue works me over thoroughly but softly. “Ugh,” I mutter, feeling like I can’t handle the pain anymore. He keeps going and I keep writhing, but he won’t give me more. I pull on his hair and curse him out, but when I finally fall over the edge into that blissful liquid place, I know it was worth it. It was so fucking worth it.

  I can’t move for a while, Paxton is letting me ease out of my orgasm while he places soft bites and kisses on my thighs. When I feel like I have enough energy I push him off of me before grabbing a hold of his shirt and pulling him into the car. I urge his body back against the seat before pulling the car door shut and kneeling between Paxton’s legs. “You’re such a bastard,” I tell him, unbuckling is belt. “You’re going to pay for that.”

  Chapter 17 - Paxton

  I’m leaned up against a brick wall somewhere on campus, waiting for Jessa to get out of class, looking like the psycho she’s turned me into. I don’t know if I mind, all I know is it’s hard to stay away from that girl. She seems to feel the same way, but everywhere I gotta go she can come with. Besides school, she and I haven’t been apart for the last week.

  Considering all the kinky shit we’ve done together it’s probably a stretch to say we’re taking it slow, but I haven’t been inside of her yet because it’s a fact that things between us are better than I ever thought they would be. But Jessa still wigs out every time someone suggests I’m her boyfriend so I’m not so sure I want to take her completely because I know there will be no coming back from that. But it’s becoming near impossible to stay as strong as I need to be to resist her.

  I’m lost in thoughts of Jessa when I hear a guy calling my name. I turn and see Dylan making his way toward me. I could barely tolerate the kid back in River Bluff but I don’t even want to look at him now, knowing he’s been in my girl. “What’s up Dylan,” I say before looking away; dismissing him.

  “Not much,” he tells me, coming to stand in front of me, crossing his arms over his puffed out chest, standing with his feet three feet apart like his dick needs the space. I can’t help but snicker at him. He thinks he’s my competition… I’m so far off his spectrum he looks like a complete tool trying to ball with me. “I heard you were back in town. Jessa wasn’t too happy about it.”

  “Oh yeah? Well, she’s happy about it now. She’s fuckin
g euphoric.” I smile to myself.

  “What are you trying to say? Are you sleeping with her?”

  “Get out of here, Dylan.”

  “That’s cool. I feel sorry for you, man; sitting out here waiting around for her, looking like a love sick puppy. You know she’s going to destroy you, right? ‘Cause that’s all she knows how to do.”

  I shake my head at him and laugh at his stupidity. “You’re just a kid. You never had a shot with her,” I tell him, but I’m not looking at him, I’m looking at Jessa as she walks towards me with a big smile on her face.

  “I’m just giving you a heads up. It doesn’t matter who you are- the girl isn’t capable of feeling.”

  “Alright,” I tell him. “Sounds good, man.”

  Jessa comes to me and grabs onto my waist. “What are you doing here?”

  “Just getting schooled by this fool,” I tell her nodding towards Dylan.

  “Hey, Dylan,” she says with no emotion in her voice. “Are you trying to tell Paxton to stay away from me?” she says, but she’s not pissed, she’s teasing him.

  “No, of course not. Just thought I’d say ‘hi’,” he says, nervous as all hell that she might be mad at him.

  “Fucking pussy,” I mutter.

  “What was that, man?” Dylan says, taking a step towards me like he’s going to take me on.

  I pop my chin at him and he flinches. “I called you a fucking pussy.”

  “Pax, don’t,” Jessa tells me. “Dylan, just go. Paxton is none of your business.”

  “Whatever,” he mutters, backing away, “good luck with her.”

  “Thanks asshole, but I don’t need it.”

  He shows me his middle finger before turning and walking away.

  “You’re such a bully,” Jessa says, wrapping her arms around my neck. “You shouldn’t scare him like that.”

  “How the hell did that rug keep you around for so long, huh?” I ask her, pulling her into me.

  “It seems ridiculous, now that I have you. But, you know, it had to be someone and the options were limited. What are you doing here?”

  “I’m taking you on a date, beso.”

  “We’re not dating, Paxton,” she says long and slow- the fear clear in her eyes.

  I’m cool with what’s happening between the two of us, I don’t need a label, but I need to know that she’s mine so it’s irritating that stupid shit like going on a date gets her all worked up.

  “Chill out, kid. Do you need me to rephrase it? ‘Cause I can, but it will still be me taking you to dinner.”

  She takes her arms off me and sighs. “Sorry. Let’s go,” she mutters, so I take my hands off her waist and bring her to the car.

  I take Jessa to my favorite diner that serves breakfast ‘round the clock. I behave until we order our food but I can no longer tolerate her tension. “You need to get over this shit in your head,” I tell her. “It’s melodramatic and unnecessary.”

  “Pax, don’t start with me. You knew what you were getting into when we started this.”

  “Yeah, I did and I don’t have a problem with it so you need to get your head in check and stop flinching every time I call you my girl or tell you I love you. Because you are my girl and I do love you. If you wake up tomorrow and decide you’re moving on… cool,” I tell her, lying through my teeth. “I’ll still love you just like I always have. You’ll still be my girl, just like you always have been. You get that? It’s not a relationship, it’s just us.”

  “I guess this shit is easier for you than it is for me,” she tells me, sitting back on her side of the booth, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “This shit is real easy, Jessa. I’m having the best non-sex of my life and I shouldn’t have to deal with relationship issues since I’m not in one. I don’t need you retreating every time I say the wrong word. You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

  “So when the sex dwindles down and we decide to move on, you’re going to remain my friend?”

  Hell, no. “We would have to actually have sex, beso, for it to dwindle down. And I’m pretty sure that once you know how good it feels to have me inside of you, you will be begging to be mine. Forever.”

  Jessa was inching toward me at the idea of my dick in her, but she recoils at the words, ‘mine’ and ‘forever’.

  I shake my head, unable to grasp her negative visceral reaction to anything that would tie her to a man- specifically me. I know she’s deliriously happy with me – all this nonsense is just second hand drama ingrained in her brain. She needs to get her shit straight and get over herself. “You mind telling me why you are so dead set on making sure you don’t get too close to me?”

  Jessa lets out a big breath. “That’s not what this is, Paxton. I’m not afraid of getting close to you. I've never been closer to anyone as I am to you. In fact, I think it’s you who has a problem letting me in. You realize you are still keeping a whole lot of shit from me. For example, why did you come back to this city you hate, this city you won’t walk around in without that hoodie covering your face. I mean, what the hell happened here? And what’s the deal with your mom? If it’s all so terrible, what are you doing here? And don’t give me that ‘taking care of business’ bullshit.”

  I pause, knowing I have to think before answering her question. If I tell her I left my entire life because she meant more to me than anything there, it will freak her the fuck out. “Don’t turn this around on me, beso. Answer the question.”

  “You came back here for me, didn’t you? Ad not to make sure I was behaving, but because you wanted to be with me.”

  Shit. With the way she generally avoids talking about us, I wouldn’t have thought she would address the issue so blatantly. “What if I did? What if the only reason I came back to this city was to get you?”

  “Is that the reason?” Jessa’s little body starts bouncing in her seat because her leg is shaking franticly with, what I can only assume, is panic.

  I let out a breath of frustration. I want to tell her the truth, but she makes it fucking impossible. “No, beso, it ain’t. Does that make you feel better?”

  She closes her eyes for a long moment before answering. “Kind of. No man should do anything for me. I’m never going to be capable of giving them what they want. If you want anything more from me than what you’re getting right now, you’re just going to end up hating me. And then I’m going to lose you. All of you. And I can’t let that happen, Pax. I’m not gonna let that happen.”

  I shake my head at her. “I wouldn’t let that happen, Jess.”

  “Yeah, but I might. I’m scared Pax… of everything. Just, please… don’t push me.”

  She’s pleading with me, and I get it, but it’s still bullshit and I’m not gonna stop pushing her until she stops pushing me away. I stand up and go to her side of the table, grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the booth. We’re in the middle of the restaurant and it’s pretty packed and I feel like fucking with her. I drop down on my knee and say, loud enough for at least half of the restaurant to hear, “Jessa Lillian Fairfield, I love you so much. You have been the best girlfriend I could ever ask for and I want to tie myself to you for the rest of my life. I want to spend every day with you and I never want you to belong to anyone but me. I want you to commit yourself to me forever. Let’s throw a permanent label on this situation and call ourselves married… what do you say? Will you marry me and become my wife?” The restaurant has gone silent. Jessa’s face is bright red and she’s trying to murder me with her eyes. “Be mine and only mine forever, Jess. Forever.” Her knee flinches and I know she wants to nail me in the balls, so I scoot back a foot, but keep her hands in mine.

  People start to chant, “Say yes, say yes, say yes…” and so I decide to put her out of her misery.

  I stand up and say, “Yeah, you will? You just made me the happiest guy in the world.” The restaurant erupts into cheers and I pull Jessa to me, putting my lips on hers. I’m kissing, but she’s biting- hard. When
I taste blood I pull out of her mouth. I acknowledge the restaurant with a wave before sitting back down in the booth, on her side this time, keeping her under my arm.

  “You are such an asshole, Paxton.”

  “I’m just trying to help you get over your phobia. Maybe now the word ‘date’ won’t be cause for an anxiety attack.”

  “Or maybe I will develop a new phobia of going out in public with you. You are fucking crazy, you know that?”

  “No, you are fucking crazy,” I tell her as the waitress comes to our table with our food.

  She sets it down and then says, “Congratulations. You two make an adorable couple. Your dinner is on the house.”

  “Cool, thanks,” I tell her.

  She winks at me before walking away.

  “Hell, yeah. I’m gonna take you on dates seven nights a week and pull this shit every time.”

  Jessa’s tense shoulders finally relax and she starts laughing. “I would have ordered an extra plate of pancakes had I known.”

  I take my arm off her to dig into my food. “So you’re in?”

  Jessa becomes severe again as she raises her fork to my face. “No, you shit. If you ever do anything like this to me again, I will kill you.” She brings her fork to my jugular and digs in to drive her point home.

  “Our marriage is falling apart before we even get it started,” I tell her, pulling her fork away from my neck.

  “You need to shut the hell up,” she laughs, grabbing a sausage off her plate and shoving it into my mouth.

  I bite it off then tell her, “You shouldn’t have done that.”

  Her eyes go big and she tries to bolt out of the booth, but I catch her by her shirt and pull her down to me, shoving one of her chocolate covered pancakes into her mouth.